Needlessly blunt, socially irresponsible, poorly written The work of a person who knows nothing about human nature and assumes man s greatest evil is receiving handjobs from a peepshow tent girl Anybody who needs a book to tell them that it is within their power to do a ton of drugs, have sex with whomever they choose and have cake for dinner will not go far in life. For my 666th review I couldn t think of a appropriate book than The Satanic Bible I bought this about 25 years ago and just now got around to reading it Thanks for the motivation, Good Reads Why did I buy The Satanic Bible way back when I was a teenager Well, it s like thisRock music has always been seen by some as a source of evil and there s a history of musicians who supposedly sold their souls to the devil.There were rock roll gods like my hero Jimmy Page, who it is rud followed occultist Aleister Crowley As a guitar playing teen I idolized them and wanted to be them to the point of buying a book like this I wondered, was there magic within Would the devil make me a rock god, too Or just getting me laid would be coolI expected sex, blood, magic, horror, demons, and sex and way magic.Then I read it and what I got was like Just to the left of the clock I believe is George Bush 2 and that s pretty satanic in and of itself Honestly, this book is just not as exciting as I d hoped I m sure it would scandalize a churchy type, but it didn t do much for me It didn t start well Right up front you learn that Anton LaVey, the founder of the Church of Satan, was a carny A carny who gets his panties in a bunch because he sees men being pious hypocrites, so he shaves himself bald and starts a cult, no sir, that is not a good start to a new religion.There s a foreword by a journalist, who describes meeting and getting to know LaVey I thought this was a nice touch It showed a human side to the story I m one of those people that believe journalists should be unbiased, people who you can rely on to give you the facts, just the facts But then you learn this particular journalist became a high priest in the Church of Satan, and well, that kind of crushed his unbiased credibility Moving on to LaVey s theories and ideas, we see some ridiculousness and some common sense On the one hand, I very much doubt LaVey would want to live in the world of chaos that his vision would create Do whatever you want sounds fun, and certainly some people do need to lighten up, but when you live in a world of chaos I spent sometime living in a house run by anarchist punks, so I got a taste of what that d be like you learn the value of a few basic societal rules LaVey s militant eye for an eye and then some Meaning he believes you strike down those who offend you with even greater force outlook coupled with a world of chaos would ve put LaVey himself in harm s way very quickly.The first half of the book expounds upon his theories This section is much relaxed than I expected He speaks off the cuff, using slang and humor It s an interesting approach to the writing of a religious text Definitely a relief from the stuffy Holy Bible By the way, any Satanists reading this can relax Yes, I m bagging on your boy a bit here, but I also think Christians are ridiculous, too I m one of those people who has faith in themselves, that they will do the right thing So far I m doing all right Haven t murdered any one yet Later The Satanic Bible gets into the whole spell casting thing, the reason I bought the damned book in the first place Much is made of sex, blood essence, speaking accursed names aloud and none of it was as cool as I d hoped I did like that LaVey calls out the people who sacrifice animals as cowards for not having the balls to draw their own blood for these rituals The last half of the book is a very short, quick read There s barely than a dozen lines on some of the last hundred or so pages Sometimes it s just a title page or one simple sentence and blank space on the back side This was done for aesthetics and it s a big waste of paper The book would be a lot smaller otherwise.All in all, I think Christians get their panties in a bunch over nothing much here And as LaVey says, they need Satan It s the Yin and Yang God, Jesus and the other goodie goodies have to have a counter point The good guys need the bad guys. De Mystifies All Shock Value So, I read this when I was about fifteen and liked to see the looks on people s faces when they saw me reading it Look at that big inverted pentacle OoooOOOooooh It wasn t completely without merit as I then went out and read its even tired sister book The Satanic Witch, but the fact that I was reading a book called The Satanic Bible and pissing off people around me as I read it on public transport was worth far to me than anything I was actually reading in it.The one bit I found interesting was about psychic vampires also known as people who use you up This phrase does seem to have been adopted widely One point to Mr LaVey.However, for the majority, this book is part gibberish, part self aggrandisement and part nihilism Takeaway morals were pretty much do what you want, but don t be an idiot the police will still come after you if you do a murder It s also disappointingly thin on magic It claims pheromones are magic, acting sexy is magic, psychodrama is magic, and that any kind of big satanic ritual thing has power if the people involved are getting off on it but that s where it begins and ends So no magic then While this is probably true, if you re sceptical about the existence of any occult powers then why bother with all the occult imagery If you don t believe Satan even exists then why call yourselves Satanists It s some unpleasant philosophy paired up with some shock value images and a smugness that anyone who is shocked just doesn t understand you cause they were too stoooopid to read the disclaimer Mazel tov, you little scamps And what will you be doing for your A levels Meh If you re a teenager in the suburbs then by all means consider having this on your bookshelf to shock annoy, but for the intellectually curious there are better books you could read on just about any topic this touches on philosophy, sociology, psychology, the history of the occult, magic, Christ even read Marilyn Manson s autobiography if you have to.This book is the textual equivalent of those 1950s B movie posters that promised so much and delivered so little. So my current impression of Satanism is that it is selfish atheism I kind of hope this bible sorry, it just doesn t feel official to me, the bible writer looks too goofy and pretentious will prove me wrong On the other hand, if my suspicions are confirmed then Satanism is a bunch of lame, and I totally called it Just saying I mean like can t you just be an atheist You don t need to be a dick But you know, most atheists are dicks any way, quoting Dawkins and Harris and smugly referencing the flying spaghetti monster God, I m so fucking sick of that shit I d love it if everyone could jump off their collective pedestal and sit criss cross apple sauce on the ground and just chill the fuck out.Anyway I m not angry People think I m angry when I say fuck repeatedly, in typing, but for fucking real, it just flows from me naturally and without anger REVIEW CRITIQUE OF SATANISM ALL RELIGIONS EVER WHICH I WILL BASE SOLEY ON MY NARROW EXPERIENCE WITH THEM STFU TO BE CONTINUED All religion is theatre and self deceit, so why not have fun with it Those who take this book literally And LaVey s brand of Satanism miss the point entirely. I found this in a charity shop many years ago, a little book that fits nicely in your pocket, I didn t steal it cos I wasn t evil then as I hadn t purchased this book, duh Try and keep up I am not a religious person, I have too many unanswered questions to believe in anything what questions you ask Here s one, Why did God kill all the dinosaurs When it s obvs that they were totes amaze balls I was blown away by how good it was, by how much Anton s thoughts were similar to mine, he didn t seem that evil either, for example, he says do whatever you want as long as nobody innocent gets hurt His essays are entertaining, maybe not the best writing style but good enough that I instantly read the book two times after reading it and also purchased his other essays from WHSmiths, who had to order them in, this was all before I was on the Internets.The downside to the book was the magic and rituals, sure a naked lady alter appeals to me but the rest Not so much It was interesting to read about the rituals though and they don t affect the flow of the book.One thing to note, my teacher at school forbade me from using this book in the write an essay about your favourite book I was forced to read write the essay on a book picked by the teacher as I refused to pick another So this review might have been that stunning essay instead if my teacher wasn t such a bastard.Gonna hunt this out of the loft for a re read methinks. Lavey was a con artist that did everything with a wink and a smirk The idea of worshipping Satan, even in the symbolic way that Lavey was into, seems completely retarded to me Why replace one Jewish diety with another Jewish diety Laveys take on Satan himself is along the lines of Satan as a kinky horny party animal with an intellectual side as opposed to the Christian interpretation of some ultimate evil conspirater bent on tricking you into roasting in hell for eternity Some of his take on magic is interesting, some of it is stupid The Enochian Keys section of the book, which is close to half of it, is a waste More Lavey showmanship than anything else All these negatives however are overrided by the great observations on Christianity and all the guilt ridden pathologies it causes Also many dead on observations of human nature as well as sexuality I find it really funny that many people took Lavey seriously as this sinister figure and I m sure the humor of this wasn t lost to him either But whats good in the Satanic Bible is so great that it overrides the stupidity and showmanship con game he was playing Overall this was a fun book to read that contained some real gems of truth. Before my Christian friends freak out about this one, they should know that Satanism is not the same as Satan Worship , and that the former is actually an atheistic philosophy albeit a very theatrical and confrontational one , as opposed to the latter which is a religion.No Satanist actually believes in heaven or hell, good or evil, God or the Devil Satanists believe that religion has turned mankind into passive sheep, and seek to undo the damage they feel religion has caused.Satanism is, I feel, Nietzsche s philosophy filtered through a lesser mind I ll be honest, I bought the book both for shock value and intellectual interest when I was in high school which is when I feel most people will buy this book , read it once, was unimpressed, and never picked it up again.It s not a bad book, and some of what LaVey has to say makes sense, in a morbid, angst ridden, angry kind of way, but LaVey was no genius, and anyone interested in this kind of stuff is probably better off picking up a book by Nietzsche or Sartre instead You ll get far food for thought and far less silliness, while still winning points in high school for being rebellious and angsty. The Satanic Biblewas first published by Anton LaVey in 1969 It is a collection of essays, observations and rituals, and outlines LaVey s Satanic ideology It contains the core principles of the Church of Satan and is considered the foundation of the philosophy and dogma that constitute LaVeyan Satanism.